I was diagnosed with depression when I was 18. If we are going to be honest though I should have been diagnosed way before that. I truly believe I have been depressed most of my life. I was always told its just your circumstances and the depression would go away eventually. Well, my life circumstances have been ever changing and the depression never left.

It wasn’t until about two months ago when I was going through test in the ER that they found out my brain literally does not make enough serotonin. A normal brain contains 50mg – 200 mg and my brain produce 18mg. Way below the normal level so no wonder I am depressed. My super depressing life circumstances and no happy neurons in my brain just meant it was harder for me to be truly happy.

Around two years ago I was diagnosed with an adjustment disorder. This disorder has everything to do with the circumstances I grew up with and continue to go through. This explains why I can never sleep and am always so restless. Also why I get scared all the time because I always think someone is out to get me because in the past they have lol. For this they gave me anxiety medicine to help calm me down but instead puts me right to sleep so I stopped using it. Instead I try to find ways to focus on my breathing and keeping myself centered so that when somebody taps me on the shoulder I’m not freaked out and jump up out of fright.

With both mental health illnesses life can get pretty dark and lonely and down right seem as though it’s not worth it. I am still trying to find the best ways to manage all the darkness circling around in my mind and the anti-depressants have helped a little bit but not enough. Now I’m working on removing myself from toxic situations and people and doing things that make me happy.

The important thing to know is that if you struggle with these illnesses you are not alone. A lot of people do not even want to acknowledge the fact that they are depressed and need help or their culture frowns upon it. It’s ok. There are people here to help or just to listen and we at Mastering Progress want you to know that there are supports systems out there for you. We have included websites below where you can do more of your own research and figure out communities and systems that will best support you!