mental health

I ended 2021 with a letter to close it out so it only seems fitting that our first post of 2022 would be a letter to welcome the new year!

Dear 2021, Thank you for teaching me how strong I am. You through me in the gutter once again with all the emotional drama and physical pain and manipulation I had to endure. With all of the friends I realized I had to loose to become my best self and the boundaries I had to set to make sure I was happy. Thank you for showing me at the end of the day I truly am all that I have because everyone will make decisions in their best interest and I need to start doing this for myself. No one else will fight for me like I can and will fight for me. Thank you for showing me the people who have caring and supportive hearts and who do not want anything but to make the world a better place. Thank you for making me stronger and more independent than ever before and for bringing more peace. Even though it may not be much but it is a lot more than I have had before! Thank you 2021 and let's go 2022! - Moraya

7/13/2017

Be your own bestfriend! Just start. You can't know if your going to fail if you never try in the first place. Family is found all the time and does not always come from being born into one! You can only control your own feelings and actions and no one else's so stop stressing over everyone else's decisions. Have enough self love to remove yourself from situations that are disrespectful to you and your morals. You don't need to stay somewhere where your not. We never know when our life is going to end so make every moment count! Pain can always be turned into something positive even if it takes a year to process it! Faith is one of the hardest things to keep but when you do it is the most rewarding. There should not be any if ands or buts when it comes to your mental health it comes first! Find out what success means to you and chase after it like there is no tomorrow!

As a person who has lived with this disorder for the past 23 years I know this is not true. I have thoughts flying through my head at 100mph which leads to frustration because I can't focus on just one thought. This can lead to word vomit when I want to share those thoughts with others. Eventually this frustration leads to anger directed at no other than myself and then the cycle begins again. I subconsciously have a tendency to be playing with my braids or tapping my fingers on the table as if I were playing the piano, something on me always needs to be moving. Most people who are living with ADHD are prescribed adderall to help control their fidgeting and focusing their thoughts. I was given a different route. Instead of having a pill I had Mozart. At a young age my mind was trained to listen to classical music and after 2 minutes my focus was on whatever was in front of me. I had been trained in classical music on the piano and spent 2 hours on the weekend in a room by myself with headphones blasting the classical greats! Now as an adult I put on my classical music playlist and get my work or personal projects done. I have also learned that exercise helps to keep my mind focused for a good hour and stops the fidgeting for two. Do I believe this would work for everyone, probably not. But since I started so young it worked for me! You have to find what works for you.

Depression I was diagnosed with depression when I was 18. If we are going to be honest though I should have been diagnosed way before that. I truly believe I have been depressed most of my life. I was always told its just your circumstances and the depression would go away eventually. Well, my life circumstances have been ever changing and the depression never left. It wasn’t until about two months ago when I was going through test in the ER that they found out my brain literally does not make enough serotonin. A normal brain contains 50mg – 200 mg and my brain produce 18mg. Way below the normal level so no wonder I am depressed. My super depressing life circumstances and no happy neurons in my brain just meant it was harder for me to be truly happy. Adjustment Disorder Around two years ago I was diagnosed with an adjustment disorder. This disorder has everything to do with the circumstances I grew up with and continue to go through. This explains why I can never sleep and am always so restless. Also why I get scared all the time because I always think someone is out to get me because in the past they have lol. For this they gave me anxiety medicine to help calm me down but instead puts me right to sleep so I stopped using it. Instead I try to find ways to focus on my breathing and keeping myself centered so that when somebody taps me on the shoulder I’m not freaked out and jump up out of fright. With both mental health illnesses life can get pretty dark and lonely and down right seem as though it’s not worth it. I am still trying to find the best ways to manage all the darkness circling around in my mind and the anti-depressants have helped a little bit but not enough. Now I’m working on removing myself from toxic situations and people and doing things that make me happy. The important thing to know is that if you struggle with these illnesses you are not alone. A lot of people do not even want to acknowledge the fact that they are depressed and need help or their culture frowns upon it. It’s ok. There are people here to help or just to listen and we at Mastering Progress want you to know that there are supports systems out there for you. We have included websites below where you can do more of your own research and figure out communities and systems that will best support you!

“You need a black man in your life”: First, I don’t need any man in my life besides Jesus. Second what is a black man going to give me that a white man can’t. Last time I checked they have the same anatomy and no matter what color skin I chose they would have to be hardworking and driven like me soon. Also, I have enough black men in my life my dad my uncles my brother and my cousins. So, I don’t see the need. “You are going against your upbringing” – You must be mistaken because I was raised in a town where my family and I were one of the three black families in the town. I really did not start going to a diverse school until the middle of 7th grade and the second half of high school. (I went to an all-girls catholic school the first two years of high school which meant my male interactions were the all-boys catholic school down the street). So, my upbringing was predominately white thank you very much. And no that does not mean I am out of touch because this 4C hair certainly does not take care of itself! “You guys are going to have such cute babies” – Hold on a minute who told you I was going to have a child with this boy. Last time I checked a child was no where on our radar and I have to be financially stable before that even enters the chat. I will not be raising a child that I can not provide for. Also I will not be having a child of my own because I have some crazy genes and my body can not handle it and nor will I be paying someone else to go through that pain. Second of all knowing the child is mixed doesn’t automatically make the child cute. I have seen some pretty ugly mixed babies so do not go assuming. At the end of the day who I choose to date and what my preference is, is my choice and no one else’s. I like what I like and that’s that so save your snarky comments to yourself!

First acknowledge that there is something toxic growing. Look at yourself and figure out how your contributing to the toxicity. Begin the inner work to better yourself and make your self stronger. If the other person is willing have a conversation and put everything on the table establishing what needs to be fixed and worked on for the relationship to continue. If they do not want to change or believe there is nothing to change then it s time to set some boundaries, ie. cutting them off for a certain amount of time, blocking them from being able to contact you etc. If they don't change after that then well its good bye forever We here at MP hope that all of you can get out of your toxic relationships and as always keep thriving!

DO NOT get black out drunk at a fancy bar. I feel as though going out to drink is very normal after a breakup. But what I did was not acceptable. I was invited to one of the top clubs in Boston with my friend and some girls I had never even met before. So of course, I had to get dressed up in my skintight dress like the boss I am and was ready for a good fun night out. Let’s just say one drink turned into 15 and me waking up on a coach in a house that I couldn’t recognize (now it’s the house of one of my close friends lol). Through the rest of the next day, I pieced together that I got into a VIP section made out with an old rich dude the bottle girl kept handing me drinks and I through up in the uber on the way home. This is a day I like to forget and needless to say did not make me feel any better about the breakup. DO NOT eat your feelings. I have this bad habit of when I am sad or depressed, I eat until throw up or go into a food coma. Let just say there were many days and nights where I only left my bedroom to go to the kitchen and grab a pile of food and returned to my fetal position. In those two weeks I gained 15 pounds and became very sluggish and disliked every inch of my body. Even though I was trying to convince myself that I was not destroying my body and I slowly was. Last time I checked just because someone is a jerk doesn’t mean I should be hurting myself even more! DO NOT tell everyone your business. One of the most important things I have learned in my life is that not everyone is your friend. There are people in this world who love to see you going through a hard time just so they can get all the information and share with everyone else how terrible your doing. It’s no one else business what happened besides you and that person in the relationship and if the other person wants to share and spread lies about you that’s their prerogative. You get the chance to keep the things you want private and share your truth when your ready! Break ups are tough and can change a life drastically but lets try to make it change for the better! As always remember to keep thriving!